Was it worth it?

Was it worth it?

Was it worth flying the Trump flag higher than your steeples?

Was it worth it, making your Trump banners the focal point of your yard?

Was it worth it to coat your trucks in stickers and images of this man?

Was it worth it to throw away all of your convictions, beliefs, hopes, and truth?

Were the excuses, failed explanations and defense of this man on the Facebook posts of your loved ones really worth it?

Was it worth it to, somehow, say he didn’t mean to tell the American people to inject bleach?

Was it worth the holding of hands between your faith and your faith in Trump?

This man shouldn’t have been president. This could have all been avoided. Nazis shouldn’t have marched in 2016. Tear gas shouldn’t have been deployed on a church for the president’s photo op in 2020. Nazis shouldn’t have breached the capital in 2021. 350,000+ Americans didn’t need to die.

The events of the past few years in conjunction with the events of January 6, 2021 come as no surprise to me, but I no longer have the desire that I once had to say, “I told you so”. Instead, I feel profound sorrow. This all could have been avoided, and I feel pity for the people who have worshiped him from the very beginning.

To put all of this into perspective on how this has affected me personally, as a woman who has experienced both sexual harassment and an instance in which I woke up to a man standing over me while I slept (I ended up ok), I will never understand why this quote wasn’t a deal breaker for men in my life: “when you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything…Grab ’em by the pussy.”

I feel betrayed. I will never know how just that quote alone was acceptable to the men in my life.

I wish I could tell the men in my life how betrayed I feel. I wish I could the elders I once respected how broken this makes me. All I have heard has been incessant denial and years of stating that the emperor has a new robe. I see the excuses for a predator, a racist, a xenophobe, a fascist, and a false prophet, and I will always remember that.

Long after Trump is gone, the unrelenting support, excuses, denial, and praise that people have had for this man will stay.

If you’re looking for a sign to apologize to those you’ve hurt and relationships you’ve broken because of your worship for this man, this is your sign.

If you’re not ready to take that deeper look, that closer look into how you’ve sold your soul a fascist, ask yourself this: was it worth it?